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Introduction
10 - The Crow, Hot Toys, 2014
I'm a big fan of the movie Crow, and the tragedy of Brandon Lee further cements the film in history. We'd never gotten particularly good collectibles based on it, but
Hot Toys was going to fix all that. At around $220, this was no small potatoes in 2014, but fans were happy to pay it. But when I got him out of the box, I was
definitely disappointed. The head sculpt and paint work are solid, but the costume is cheap. The tailoring on the shirt and pants, along with the thick material,
created a look that reminded me of something I could get for less than half the price from a company like Triad or Sideshow. This guy can be had for $170 or less
these days, further proof he wasn't quite the home run he should have been.
9 - Silk Spectre, Hot Toys, 2010
Hot Toys has, on occasion, completely screwed the pooch with a license. The Watchmen movie license is a perfect example (as is the 66 Batman license). They only
managed to produce two figures from the film, Silk Spectre and the Comedian, and they did a piss poor job with both. It's no surprise that we never got a great
Rorschach or Night Owl.
Silk Spectre has a very pretty portrait, and this was one of the earliest examples of well done rooted hair. This was the start toward the more common hair solution we're seeing today, and they were certainly pioneers. Sadly, things went much worse from the neck down. The thick, poorly tailored outfit hung on the lanky body in bad ways. Throw in an almost complete lack of accessories, and you had a very disappointed Captain Toy.
8 - Davy Jones, Hot Toys, 2008
Here's a figure I'd really like someone to revisit - after they finally give us a Barbossa. I didn't score this figure badly when it was released, but the short statue
has bugged me more and more over time. He's really just a big plastic figure, and while the sculpting detail was great (the 'wet' paint look never did a lot for me),
he's much, much too small for the overall line. It's almost like he doesn't belong with the rest of the releases...
7 - Selene, Star Ace, 2016
Here's the figure that started me down the path of doing Captain Toy Picks... lists of disappointments, so it only seems right she's here somewhere. I've heard
complaints about the costume, but I don't agree with that. While I hate the stiff boots, and feel that a two piece boot design would have gone a long way to
improving her rating, it's the portrait that is disappointing.
There's two major reasons for that. First, it's the helmet hair that has almost no detail. And second, it's a problem that you'll see repeated on this list and that REALLY bugs me anytime it happens - the face is squished. It's as if someone took the top of the head and the chin between their thumb and first finger and squeezed. Right across the bridge of her nose, the face is pushed in, with the eyes tilted back from top to bottom. You can hide it in photos with the right lighting and angles, but it's there, and that sort of production issue should never occur. I have no doubt that the original sculpt was superior to the final product, and that's pretty much the definition of 'disappointment'.
6 - Young Indiana Jones, Medicom, 2009
I'll be honest - I've never been a huge fan of Medicom's sixth scale offerings. They started charging way more than anyone else, and their quality never was at the
level it needed to be. But the one that really bummed me out was Young Indiana Jones. Let's face it, there's been plenty of disappointment with the Indiana Jones
license, including work by Sideshow and Hot Toys. But the odds we'll ever get another Young Indy are pretty slim, and the paint work on this one is just awful. Add in a
baggy, poorly tailored outfit, and you have a recipe for sadness.
5 - The Comedian, Hot Toys, 2010
Hot Toys only did two figures for the Watchmen movie, and I've already put Silk Spectre on this list. The Comedian was actually pretty decent right out of the
box, with a good portrait, excellent accessories, and solid paint work. But then time passed...and the rubber began to disintegrate. While Hot Toys has had this
issue with a number of their figures, this is the only one I've had that has pretty much fallen apart. Considering the price we pay, it's not unreasonable to assume it
would last more than a year or two.
4 - Barb Wire, Triad Toys, 2011
Triad Toys did their fair share of buxom babes, from licensed characters like Ghost to their own inventions like Helga. I can generally cut them a lot of slack, but I really like the character of Barb Wire, and this release was an affront to fans.
I'm sure some will say "yea, but she was only $120!", and that's true. However, during the same month she shipped, Hot Toys shipped their Hans Landa and their Chris Taylor - both only $135. There's simply no comparison. If you want to make up characters, knock yourself out, but when you go after a licensed character, even one from a comic, you should at least make something halfway recognizable.
3 - Snake Plissken, Sideshow, 2015
I suspect quite a few people will have Snake on their own lists. Sideshow caught a world of flak over this release, and I was disappointed as well - but not for the
same reason as most other collectors.
Lots of people really hated the head sculpt and paint. Many very bad things were said about it. But I think it's way over blown, and the portrait is actually solid work. A repaint can certainly help, but it's not necessary.
But from the neck down, there's all kinds of problems. The outfit and the accessories are much cheaper looking and feeling than a normal Sideshow release. The materials in the costume are cheap, the tailoring is cheap, and the construction is cheap. The weapons are well below average, with poor sculpts and gloppy paint. And the boots? Don't even get me started on the boots. I'm happy with the portrait, but everything else disappointed me.
2 - Nathan Drake, Sideshow, 2014
The other Sideshow figure to make the list is Nathan Drake. Everything I just said about Snake Plissken can be reversed for Drake. Again, Sideshow took a beating
when they released this figure, because it looked very little like the earlier marketing photos. But this time it IS the awful head sculpt and paint job that garnered
my disdain. The accessories and outfit are where they should be, but the sculpt and paint work fall well short.
And yes, I stole the photo from the web someplace, and don't know where...if it's yours, let me know.
1 - Gandalf the White, Asmus Toys, 2014
I really had a hard time putting a figure in the number one slot. The issue is that all of these are pretty much equally disappointing - it's not like one stands out
from all the rest. Getting disappointed, particularly when you're spending some serious money, is an equally annoying experience.
But I saved the top spot for a character and license that I truly love, and for which I had very high hopes. Asmus was in their early days of doing Lord of the Rings (and Hobbit) figures, and the jury was still out on how the final products would turn out. The early photos of their Gandalf the White showed promise, and I got my hopes up...only to have them dashed by another squished head. This time, it appears as though someone squeezed him from temple to temple, elongating the head to horse-like proportions. The costume had a few issues as well, but it was the portrait that truly disappointed me, in no small part because I had my hopes set so high.
There's some very good news here, however. Asmus has turned this around, producing better and better figures with every release. There recent Gandalf the Gray is light years ahead of this original version, and their last release, Grishnack, was fantastic. They're doing this while keeping prices somewhat under control, always a big plus.
In Closing...
Interestingly enough, Hot Toys got hit the hardest here, taking four of the ten slots. A big part of that is because expectations are so very high for every
release they produce, and they've raised the bar not just for the industry but for themselves. Of course, paying more for them also sets a certain expectation that they
simply can't always attain.
There were a fair number of other figures that almost made the list - more than one Indiana Jones release, certainly the Sideshow Padawan Obi-Wan, and the aforementioned ED-209 thanks to its on going issues with rubber deterioration. But for me, these ten took the top prize.
So what's your list look like?
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